The first and most important thing you can do is to recognize that some stage fright is a good thing.
Stage fright, in manageable doses, can make you a better performer, sharper, more focused. The big problem is that too much stage fright can keep you off the stage entirely, or lock you up once you do go on stage. So you have to accept that you will probably always have some level of performance anxiety, with the goal being that it becomes a productive fear, rather than something that limits your ability to do what needs to be done. I think that's key to succeeding, at least early on.

Some people think you can or should get rid of that fear before you actually take the stage. I think there's a widespread belief that stage fright is a reaction to poor planning or something similar, so that if you have stage fright it 's a sign that you're "not ready". That's completely false.

Stage fright is a very natural reaction to pressure. Everybody gets it, even the most experienced performers. I knew comics who were working professionals, very successful, very talented, who were nervous before every performance, six performances a week. Part of getting past your initial stage fright, the paralytic fear that keeps you off stage or causes problems, is to let the fear in, instead of fighting it. For me, it was really that easy – once I stopped trying to fight it off and instead just admitted that
1)I was scared,
2)it was OK to be scared and
3)it was natural to be scared, it just no longer had much of a hold on me.

Therefore, I think the first suggestion I would give to you is to not fight yourself – admit to yourself the same three things I did. Do it whenever and as often as necessary. I can remember, the night before my first time at an open mic, I stayed awake just letting the stage fright run through my system. I let it play out all my worst fears – all the different ways I could suck. No matter how badly I did, it just never seemed all that terrible. Once I had run through all those scenarios, I just didn't have that fright (in uncontrollable doses) any more. Along with that, you have to be very self-aware. In my opinion, stage fright is a reaction to the immediacy of judging that accompanies any performance art.

Most people, non performers, get to walk comfortably through life without ever having to be judged in the harsh light of reality – we tend to try to spare each other's feelings constantly, so it' s rare that somebody just comes right out and tells you you suck and enumerates all the ways in which you suck and so on. On the other hand, when you're a performer, you give the audience the right (and obligation) to judge you as harshly as necessary. Most people can't handle that because their ego won't accept it. As a performer, you have to admit to yourself that you have weaknesses. If you know where you need to improve and where you screwed up, criticism is not a big deal. Here's a bad example, but one that's fresh in my mind. If you watch "American Idol" (this is the sort of thing you do once you're married), there are two types of reactions to Simon: the performers who are crushed by him and the ones who simply affirm/agree with/accept his criticism. Every winner (and Clay Aiken) has been of the latter type. All the people who fall apart eventually, no matter how talented they are, are the former.

Knowing your limitations, weaknesses and areas for improvement is like armor. If you sucked, be the first to admit you sucked. And commit to getting it right the next time. Stage fright, I believe, is largely a reaction of the ego, which always wants to be appeased and stroked. If you are in the habit of battering your ego, of seeing yourself clearly, then the fear of being judged (stage fright, or at least some component of it) is really not a big issue. Now, you have to walk a fine line with that because you can become a self-defeatist if you go too far. You want to be honest, not harsh. I knew what my problems were as a comic, but I was also very aware of what I did well. Keep in mind, it's not an attempt to tear yourself down so far that there's nothing left to build on.

You must evaluate yourself without self-consciousness. You need to be able to admit your weaknesses very clearly and with stark objectivity, but you also need to be able to enumerate your strengths with the same clarity and honesty. To sum up that particular point: do not live in fear of judgment. If you know yourself, criticism is no big deal: it is either valid, in which case it simply confirms what you already admitted, or it is invalid, in which case it is immaterial. As a first time performer, of course it's very difficult to know what your strengths and weaknesses but you can still evaluate yourself. Chance are you will not be very good, you will do very little right and you will get very few laughs.

Now, I know that seems harsh, but notice what this does for you. It sets a base level of honesty for you that you can accept ahead of time. Instead of getting crushed by the audience's reaction, they're simply playing into your expectations. But it's not enough to nod and say "yeah, I'll probably have a rough time". You have to really believe it and let it in and live with it. Remember, I believe that stage fright is basically your ego throwing up a roadblock against the receipt of honest criticism. But if you've already given yourself the same honest criticism, there's no need for the roadblock. Another aspect of stage fright is the "flight or fight" nature. It is very easy to withdraw from a performance – nobody is forcing you to take the stage, so your first instinct is to run away. Part of dealing with your fear (notice: not "overcoming" it, but "dealing with" it) is to convince yourself that performances are mandatory.

A lot of people use stage fright as a subliminal excuse to avoid performing. They might plan to do stand-, but they back down in the end, using some excuse that masks their real fear. "Oh, I can't do it tonight, I don't feel good", etc. One of the things that I tell almost everybody is that you have to treat this like a job: once you commit to performing (whether it's simply a commitment to yourself or a real, contractual obligation), you have to think of it as an unbreakable contract. In "fight or flight" mode, there are physiological changes to your body that make it very difficult to manage a performance. You have to overcome that urge to flee and, I think, you can do that simply by changing the way you think about an engagement. Never think of a performance as an "I can" situation. When choice is a part of the equation, that "flight or fight" mechanism starts cranking and you have problems. Instead, think of it as "I must". Remove choices, remove options. Lock yourself into the obligation of a performance. If you can convince yourself of this, you remove the possibility of "flight or fight" and instead your body switches into a more rational mode of thought. What you don't want is to be ruled by fear.

You want manageable, productive fear, not the type of fear that beats you down. In addition to the sort of touchy-feely metaphysical stuff I've mentioned so far, the things you've been doing in the days and weeks leading up to the first show will help keep your fear at a productive level: knowing your act, which is why you've been practicing it. A pre-show ritual, which is why you've been thinking about it for two days. Comfort and positive self-image, which is why you're dressed comfortably. But always remember that stage fright, in manageable and controllable doses, is a great, great performance enhancer. Well, I guess that's about it. I hope that gives you something to work with. Good luck!

Stage Fright